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May. 20th, 2010

Writer's Block: Mind reader

Revision. Hungry. Sketching : )

Feb. 12th, 2010

Decisions and I...let's say we don't talk much

Found myself stood in the kitchen reading instructions on how to make Cheese sauce, the sad part is I didn't know whether to use water or milk. After around 10 minutes I decided on the milk, but then another dilema reared its head.

250ml.

Now 250ml is great if you have a jug. Which I don't! So i faced another decision, knocking on my flat mate's door and asking to borrow hers....or ring my mum.

So taking the most logical route possible...I called my mum! Does that sound sad? A 23 year old asking her mum how much 250ml is? So after a brief discussion and mugs as a template we discovered how much milk i needed.

The point of this rather lame and pointless blog post is that when your in trouble, have to make a decision or advice...who do you call?

Usually I call my mum to double check a decision I've made, not the little trivial ones like what shall i have for breakfast? But the ones were the outcomes are unstable, your not really sure what the consquence of that action will be. The other...reason I call my mum? So that she knows she's still needed. Even if I'm on the other side of the country. I like to think that it gives her a little peace and happiness to know I still need her.

I do the same with my dad, when it's course related or assignment related he helps me out. Let's his college memories live again for the brief period he's remembering what was long taught to him. Just recently I asked him about Grass Tetany (Grass Staggers) and his reply helped me, may have been what I could have found in a book. But it made him feel more involved in what I was doing.

p.s. Changed my little emoticon thingy to Hamsters. I think they are more fitting to the current months, seeing as I currently have three in my room ;P two are leaving in a few weeks though. 9 weeks left to finish writing up my dissertation!!!

Feb. 4th, 2010

Writer's Block: A rose by any other name ...

I'd like to think it marks my transition between being a teenager and then becoming an adult. You could break it down to black heart...this would be how i saw myself, keeping myself, my feelings and thoughts in the dark.

I suppose with the late Zeitgeist some would have called me an emo. But i don't really feel like that is what I was experiencing. When I turned 21, and just before hand, I recieved some clarity of things, I scared myself and accepted myself allowing myself to become real, and to feel things by dropping my guard a little and letting people in.

So the 21 signifies my age at the time and also the black heart becoming the red heart.

I dunno it just seemed to fit!

Writer's Block: Roommate from Hell

Currently living with one!!

Because she is quite Extrovert in a small confined space her Eccentricity has multipled and can be overbearing. It doesn't help when everyone finds her intimidating, yet she's managed to wrap the Accommodation Manager around her finger!

Roommate in question picked an arguement with "J" last week whilst "J" was trying to do her dissertation work. It was rediculous really, all started over asking to borrow a lighter and being denied. If your not running around after her every whim, then she assumes you have a problem with her...she doesn't take into consideration that people have their own lives to live!!

Currently all we can do is ignore her, just let her get on with things and keep out her way. So as to not start another arguement. There is some tension obviously, but life is too short to deal with people like that.

Gets More Confusing Every Day...

Currently sat in the Library, shall be here til around 9pm. Just waiting for "J" to finish work. She is also an evening library assistant. Spent the last couple of hours working on my Literature review, although i feel like I've made some kind of progress...I really haven't written that much!! Grrr! In those couple of hours I've written 226 works!!! Thats pretty bad right?!? I'll try and continue shortly, if i can find my motivation for it again, that is **Yawn**

On the 15th January, after my Welfare exam, "J" and myself went and watched the fabulous Avatar...in 3D of course!! Quite frequently I found myself saying 'Wow' under my breath. The scenery was put together so amazingly well. The waterfalls looked so real, not necessarily 3D but you could see that they protuded enough to give a stand away appearance. Like when you see one from a distance you can see it isn't 2D. It took so long to produce, but i generally believe it was worth every ounce of effort, time adn money that went into it!! Can kinda relate it to the Pocohontas story I guess, there are some similarities but at the same time it's completely new. The attention to detail was emense. Defintely a must see!!!

My birthday was good fun, was nice to see all my old flat mates. Luckily nothing really kicked off to spoil the night as I was a little worried about that. Not just for myself, but for others also. Started the day with a Nutrition lecture, which wasn't too bad. Just had to identify different food stuffs and how they are made not very exciting but could prove useful someday. The afternoon was then dedicating to waiting for everyone to arrive, tidying rooms, charging cameras and Facemasks!! Was messy, but fun. I smelled liked pomegranites, "J"'s room smelled like a fruit shop haha! And the night was dedicated to dancing, drinking (moderately) and all round fun at the club. =D

Dissertation is going well I feel. Most of the Hamsters have gone now, just waiting for a couple to be picked up. I have decided to keep one, which "J" named Creme Brule for me haha Just need to sort out my Literature Review and then work out Standard Deviations etc try and make sense out of my results!

Valentine's Day is looming and i'm hoping that Broccoli isn't going to get me anything. I've found lately that I just don't feel what I think I should. He's a nice guy and everything, but lately...i dunno...there's just something not right there between us. My irritation limit has become quicker to the mark with him, he seems clingy which scares me. He's overly sensitive the slightest thing can be taken the wrong way and he becomes a blubbering mess.
Maybe it's the timing with my dissertation, assignments, graduation, home issues going on all at once.
I'm really not that sure about what to do in this kind of situation, maybe once some of the baggage has been lifted things will be clearer. It's just come to the point where, whenever I see him I'm just thinking "Oh great" I've been at this point so many times with Broccoli now, it's using up energy I just don't have.

GAH!!! why do things turn out the way they do?
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"Oh, I'm going my own way, my faith has lost its strength again
Oh, it's been too hard to say, we've fallen off the edge again
We're at the end, we're at the end" - World of Chance - Demi Lovato

Feb. 1st, 2010

An Overdue Entry...

Man a month has passed of 2010 already, too much drama has happened in the last 31 days, "J" and I have decided this year will be the year of change! So far there seems to be a difference I feel confident about my January exams, hopeing to be heading to Portugal in August **fingers crossed** Some of my loan money came through!! REJOICE!!! so i'm all square with most people just Mogwli to pay back now which is all gravy.

Shame one me!!!

Although for my part i have start down a few times to write a blog and each time I start i get called away. I am currently waiting for my game to finish installing..it's taken 16 minutes to reach 64% installation!!! My friend "J" has already installed and is currently playing the tutorial of her game...'Mall Tycoon 3' I think it is.

Myself? I'm waiting to play 'Lord of the Rings: The Battle for Middle-Earth' I've played it before it's quite an old game now, my older brother gave it to me. He loves anything Lord of the Rings, he even collects replica weapons from the film! I noticed on his bucket list that he would like to go to New Zealand and see the set of the Shire.

Dissertation, well now that went ok i think. Once all the write up is done i'll be able to see for sure how well it went, got homes for most of the Hamsters now. I even managed to keep one for myself. I call him Creme (as in the desert, creme brule)

Anywho, Shall blog more later. So much to talk about..Avatar, Criminal Minds, My Birthday...

Until next time :P

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“Be Yourself, Don't take anyone's s**t and never let them take you alive..."” -Gerard Way

Sourced: - www.quotesdaddy.com

Nov. 20th, 2009

The Rollercoaster of October/November

Finances

So the university helped me pay for Bower Terrace as mentioned in previous entry, however the next day I was told i would need to pay even more to get my room!!! If she told me the exact amount the day before it would have made things so much simpler. So now i still owe Uni £200 that needs to be paid by the 26th November.

Spoke to the Finance Co-ordinator again and she told me to ring Student England, so i did and after waiting 10 minutes in a queue on the phone the person that dealt with my inquiry was well rude and not very helpful at all.

My mum is supposed to be going into the Benefit place today and asking to see a supervisor, as they have had our form for FOUR MONTHS now!! Which is just ridiculous!!

Job Front

I have a JOB!!!! Whoop!!! I work in the University Library as a Library Assistant :D very Wednesday 5:15pm to 9:00pm (£6ph) It’s quite good, not too much to it really, putting back books, sorting out shelves, filling printers etc I like putting new labels on the books teehee sad I know!


Assignments

Handed in my first assignment on Monday...It was for Anthrozoology kinda chuffed with it, in the end i did the Native Americans, Totems and Animals for the International perspective and then the Human-Cat Relationship for the National perspective. The Native American perspective on animals is quite interesting, they see the Earth as the Mother, the sun as the Father and the all animals as Brothers and Sisters that all are equal.

My next assignment is due the 26th of this month, I have to critically appraise two animal charities....so I’m doing Animals Asia for the International Charity and either Secret World or Animal Aid for the National Charity. I’m thinking more Animal Aid as we had a member from there talking to us yesterday. It was all really interesting, I like how in their videos they use a mixture of mediums to reach out to people from anthropomorphic views to just a heartbeat backing track...very imaginative methods.

Dissertation

I’ve come quite a way with my dissertation, I’ve made a few alterations but they were needed. I’m planning on doing a pilot study next week before i see my supervisor again to make sure my Ethogram is in working order....14 days til I go home and actually start the dissertation practical...thats if i have the cages and the hamsters :-S **fingers crossed**

Added Extras

1. Get Repeat Prescription
2. Make an appointment for Opticians - Get glasses sorted
3. Renew Passport
4. Pay off any debts (Almost done)
5. Email ACU staff member about pilot study

Oct. 1st, 2009

applications in...just waiting for replies

Finances

Rang mum today she kinda forgot to put money in my bank for me, well she forgot my paying in book, but i told her about the paying in slips at the bank, so I should have some money tomorrow hopefully :D
The university is helping me pay for Bower Terrace as mentioned in previous entry, I've had a couple of meetings with our Finance person, she's a really nice lady, friendly and understanding which is exactly what you need you know. Someone who isn't intimidating. I get to pick up my cheques tomorrow, which as soon as i'm able will go to where they need to go. My mums still tryign to get hold of the people she sent a form to, she sent to them weeks ago and has been trying to call them for the last 2 1/2 weeks...everyday but still can't get through. So i still won't be getting my student loan for quite a while longer it would seem/
I literally have under a £1 to my name at the moment so hoping a job will come soon!!!

Job Front

Handed in a few job applications, some with CV's. Theres a good chance I could be working Wednesdays at the Library so that Jessica can play netball more often with her team rather than being just fortnightly.
Applied at one place, they called me back the same day to ask if i could do Fridays, however I'm supposed to be havig dissertation meetings on Fridays and the Nutrition next term. I told them i wouldn't be able to work Fridays and I'm not sure whether they will offer me a job now, I did mention on my CV what days I wasn't available.
Got a phone call today, but was unable to answer it as i was in my lecture. Then found out whoever called left a message but I don't have enough credit to phone my voicemail to hear the message. I should have money tomorrow so i may be able to put credit on my phone and then hear that message, I wonder if its from that same company or one of the other ones I applied to..hmmmm...I think thats sooo stupid...why do you have to pay to hear a voicemail??
I must say though I am actually quite proud of my CV, its the first time i've ever done it all by myself, my last one I had help with it from a family member. But i really liked it, only took about half hour- hour to do!!

Assignments

Got some of my assingments back from last year today. It looks like the second half of the year my grades got better :D My project on the goat (need refreshing?? - see post in April) got me 63% and the presentation that went with it got me  68% :D well chuffed with myself. As i was really worrying about that assignment and presentation.
I'm not particularly good with presentations as it is, but I had my little notes which I didn't use, but it's always good to be prepared aye?

This years assignments so far seem ok. My anthrozoology assignment looks really good, I have to look into two things where animals are used and write about the psychology behind it and the perception that humans have on the animals involved. I'm thinking I might do one on Native American Totems as the history behind them is really qute interesting. I'm going to research as much as  i can to begin with adn if I need any other further details I'm going to see if i can email a Tribe somehow or an organisation that knows about the totems in great depth.

Dissertation

Ahhh yes the dreaded dissertation... *sigh* So i had my meeting with my supervisor and well she made me feel so self conscous and small about my idea to do with the hamsters, she wants me to use 16 hamsters...Deja vu!!! have I written this before??....yeah i have...I do apologise.
Just a brief update on that front then. I'm thinking of going back with the Degu breeding as for me it will be more financially viable and i already have a correspondance with someone who is keen to know the outcome. Won't be able to do it on the Blue Degu though as it's differcult to get them from my correspondances so they suggested I try the original Degu in its place.
So I'm going to write a Methodology and title for both with a price comparison for them and then next week when i see my supervisor I'll show her what I have come up with although i doubt she'll read it.
Heard from a friend who did this course last year that her dissertation has gone missing....the lecturers somehow managed to lose her dissertation...its like two inches thick or something how can you lose that? 

Added Extras

1. Get Repeat Prescription
2. Make an appointment for Opticians - Get glasses sorted
3. Renew Passport
4. Update CV (30/09/09)
5. Write a draft cover letter for CV
6. Find a Job!!! (Doing some applications now!!!)
7. Pay off any debts (Almost done)
8 .Tidy temp room (done; 08/09/09)
9. Tidy old room (Half Done)
10. Sort out research from last year (Done)
11. Buy my old brother a birthday card (hopefully a present too) (Done)
12. Mow Lawn (VOID)
13. Hair Dressers - Having a pampering sessions with some mates so may hold this off til after that!!!
14. Look up course related material (books/journals/etc) (Still doing)
15. Pack for uni (Done) - Staying in my friends room until I can give the peeps more money!
16. Get everything on To Buy list.
17. Cut Hedge (VOID)

Sep. 28th, 2009

(no subject)


So just a quick update really.

I'm back in Maidstone, whoop but staying in a friend's room for the time being, which has been fun to say the least but I am hoping that I'll have my own room soon...I'm sure she'll get sick of me after a while and want her own space.

Spoke to the accommodation manager to find out what the minimal amount i can pay is to get my room and she told me a sum, which i then told to my finance adviser and they organised for it to be paid using the emergency fund they have and also a short term loan to help cover the rest but still have some left over. Once the accommodation manager found this out she then said I would need to pay a further £250 so i can move in!!! She completely changed her mind!!!! GOD!!!!! and now its too late to increase the amount in the short term loan. I have to pay the short term loan as soon as the Student Finance England people give me my loan :( Which will be a while away yet as still waiting for some people to fill out  their bits so i can send it on..Geezzz I wish they would hurry up!!!!

Filled out a couple of job application forms which I'm giving in tomorrow, and then gonna pick up a load more. Hopefully get a job this year *fingers crossed*

Ahh the dreaded dissertation...I decided to do the Hamster one, but my supervisor kinda dismissed it in a way, made me feel kinda shit as I haven't gone into great detail as i didn't know which one I could do in the end I just chose one....She really made me feel so small. So now i have to get a16 hamster, put them in four groups of four. Two groups for day and two groups for night :(

I think I might try and find people who have done similar experiments to the one I'm doing and see if they can give advice, as it will all help towards the end. Especially in my literature review...what i might do is look through my friend's Dissertation for Dummies book and see if there is anything useful in there...



1. Get Repeat Prescription
2. Make an appointment for Opticians - Get glasses sorted
3. Renew Passport
4. Update CV
5. Write a draft cover letter for CV
6. Find a Job!!! (Doing some applications now!!!)
7. Pay off any debts (Almost done)
8 .Tidy temp room (done; 08/09/09)
9. Tidy old room (Half Done)
10. Sort out research from last year (Done)
11. Buy my old brother a birthday card (hopefully a present too) (Done)
12. Mow Lawn (VOID)
13. Hair Dressers - Having a pampering sessions with some mates so may hold this off til after that!!!
14. Look up course related material (books/journals/etc) (Still doing)
15. Pack for uni (Done) - Staying in my friends room until I can give the peeps more money!
16. Get everything on To Buy list.
17. Cut Hedge (VOID)


So much to do!!!!




Writer's Block: Mirror, mirror

If you broke a mirror, would you worry about bad luck even if you're not superstitious? Would you walk under a ladder or cross a black cat's path on a dare? Is there anything you're superstitious about?
Well I'd be worried about it i wouldn't necessarily stress about it. I suppose its because people used to believe the mirror could catch your soul and so if you broke it you would break your soul..... and as for the black cat one past me just yesterday didn't particularly react to it.
 
However i am very conscious about ladders for some strange reason...When there is scaffolding i do unwittingly look to see if there are any ladders around. I try to stay out of the way of scaffolding, so more than likely walk around it or cross the road.

Also the whole Magpies supersition, you know the one...one for sorrow, one for joy??  Everytime i see one on it's own i franctically search for another just in case. I know its sad, sometimes i won't even look around just in case I only see one.

I'm not sure if anyone else gets it but whenever I see a Robin I know I'm gonna have a really good day, but i think thats only because I associate it with my Grandad, when he passed on a Robin followed me to school part of the way anyway and i was thinking of him at the time. And if i talk to it, it usually chirps back : )

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